Oh yes, I got back from Turkey some months ago. I won't bore you with my holiday photos.

It was okay, a bit hot and every single Turkish human is a commercial parasite. When they're not chasing after you with a coat full of counterfeit watches or dragging you onto boats, they stand around pandering to British pop-culture circa 2001, (i.e. they advertised everything as being "cheap as chips") hoping that all Brits will be dead impressed. Well I for one, was not. There was this little fat man dressed in a completely white suit who used to stand outside a restaurant and shout things like, "All right chuck, how are you I'm fine thank you." and another twat who tried to lure me into his eatery by calling me "Mr. DiCaprio". What a cock!

We visited a mud bath endorsed by Sting himself and also went to Rhodes for the day. Much nicer place.

The best thing about the holiday however, was all the guns. All the rozzers carry guns, even the girls. And there are armed soldiers all over the shop. I took a picture of a police officer's gun right up close while he was showing Jenny how to use a phone box. I'm lucky he didn't notice because they're probably trained to execute people who do that.

On Saturday I went to see the Happy Mondays live on drugs. Quite entertaining, although Shaun Ryder and Mark Berry made absolutely no contribution other than lending credence to a band of unknown people who would otherwise be considered a tribute act. Oh, and in the flesh it's quite apparent that Mr. Ryder is in far greater mental decline than the media would have us believe. His family and close friends should be deeply concerned.